Black Christmas Review: Preachy, Ponderous, and Painfully Dull

Introduction

Anticipation for a thrilling slasher often builds from a compelling premise: a killer stalking a college campus, with sorority sisters poised to turn the tables. However, Black Christmas (1974) quickly veers from this expectation, delivering a film that prioritizes a heavy-handed social message over genuine scares or engaging narrative. What begins with the promise of a tense horror experience quickly devolves into something far less interesting, leaving audiences checking their watches rather than gripping their seats.

The Lack of Dynamic & Action

For a film ostensibly in the horror genre, Black Christmas is remarkably devoid of tension or compelling action. The killer element, when it appears, is described as "completely weak," lacking any intrigue or suspense. Moments of violence are uninteresting and quickly dismissed, failing to build any sense of dread. This is less a slasher film and more a "really boring murder mystery" where nothing substantial happens for extended periods. The film struggles to establish any dynamic between characters, leaving them bland and forgettable, further diminishing any potential for engaging conflict or thrilling set pieces.

Narrative Stakes & Preachy Messaging

Black Christmas makes the critical error of mistaking social commentary for plot and character development. The narrative is inundated with "fight the patriarchy" and other social messages, to the point where the film feels less like a story with a message and more like a message with a movie attached. This approach blunts any potential for narrative stakes, as the film's core becomes its didacticism rather than its characters or their peril. The pacing suffers immensely, with revelations at the end feeling like a generic horror plot rather than a satisfying conclusion to a well-developed story. The film's attempts at being compelling and clever are undermined by its cartoonish execution of dialogue and situations.

Tone, Direction & Creative Missteps

The tone of Black Christmas is overwhelmingly preachy, clubbing viewers over the head with its points. The film exhibits "all the subtlety of the social media it was bred off of," making for an experience that feels like being unwillingly dragged to a protest rather than enjoying a film. The direction fails to inject nuance or genuine impact, instead opting for an execution so ridiculous it blunts any message it might have intended to convey. This lack of subtlety and cartoonish approach to serious themes ultimately renders the film's attempts at social justice as caricatures, rather than compelling commentary.

The Final Verdict

Black Christmas masquerades as something deeper, but in the end, it's simply a lazy, boring horror movie that fails to deliver on its genre promises. With bland characters, terrible dialogue, and a distinct lack of tension or scares, it's a flat experience. While there are a "couple of neat moments of imagery," these fleeting positives are not enough to salvage a film that prioritizes preaching over entertainment. Audiences looking for a genuine slasher or a well-crafted narrative will find this iteration of Black Christmas a disappointing and unfulfilling watch.